TechieMaMa

Deciding to return to work just six months after giving birth was not easy. In Germany, where parents can take up to three years of parental leave, and with 14 months of paid leave available to be shared between partners, my decision felt like swimming against the tide. Add to that my Tunisian background, where cultural expectations emphasize devoting yourself entirely to your child, and you’ve got the perfect storm of opinions, advice, and pressure.

On one hand, I was surrounded by the German norm that almost whispered, “Stay home longer, you’ll never get this time back.” On the other hand, I felt the cultural weight from Tunisia, where the idea of heading back to work so soon can be seen as, well, somewhat neglectful of the sacred role of motherhood. It felt like no matter which direction I turned, someone was going to think I was doing it wrong.

But the real challenge? It wasn’t just about navigating the external noise. It was about quieting the internal conflict within me. There were moments where I’d find myself questioning my decision—Was I a bad mother for wanting to return to work? Could I really juggle both roles without compromising one for the other? Did wanting to get back to my professional life mean I wasn’t as dedicated to my baby as I should be?

The truth is, motherhood didn’t erase my ambition. I love my baby with all my heart, but that love doesn’t mean I need to give up who I am or the career I’ve worked hard for. It’s natural, and completely okay, to think about your own ambitions without feeling resentment toward your child. In fact, it’s not about choosing one over the other—it’s about finding your rhythm as both a mother and a professional.

The internal battle was tough. I had moments of guilt, wondering if I was being selfish. But in reality, going back to work was my way of honoring both my identity and my family. It wasn’t about running away from my responsibilities as a mother—it was about embracing the fullness of who I am, not just for myself but also as a role model for my child.

Yes, I could have taken three years like many mothers in Germany do, but returning after six months was what felt right for me. I needed that reconnection to my career, not because I didn’t enjoy being with my baby, but because my work is a significant part of who I am. And being a mother doesn’t mean sacrificing that identity—it means evolving and making choices that work for you and your family.

The social and cultural pressures are very real, but so is the need to trust your own instincts. Statistics show that around half of German mothers don’t return to work until after the first year, and only a small percentage come back within six months. For a while, I felt like an outsider for making this choice. But motherhood is not a one-size-fits-all experience, and I had to remind myself of that over and over again.

My return to work wasn’t a rejection of motherhood—it was an expansion of my role. My love for my baby coexists with my love for my work. These aren’t competing forces; they’re complementary pieces of my life. And the internal peace I’ve found is this: it’s not only okay to prioritize your ambitions—it’s essential. You can be a loving mother without losing sight of your personal goals.

This decision has shown me that we don’t have to conform to societal or cultural standards of what motherhood should look like. We can embrace our ambitions, acknowledge our exhaustion, and still give ourselves the grace to ask for help when needed. It’s normal to feel tired, to feel conflicted, but it’s also okay to feel empowered by the choices we make.

In the end, returning to work wasn’t just about reclaiming my career—it was about reclaiming my confidence, my ambition, and my belief that motherhood can enhance, not diminish, who we are. And that’s the message I want to share: you can be ambitious, exhausted, loving, and present—all at the same time.